Some say that ignorance is bliss. And it can be. But then you return to reality and realize nothing happened, nothing changed, but your TEMPORARY perspective. What we really need to change is our more permanent perspective. One of my sweet little Santa Barbara cousins is a pillbug. He only slightly remembers me every time he sees me, so when I talk to him, he closes his eyes. Just for a minute, he thinks that I cannot see him. It's cute. But how often do we do this to life itself? To God? To our own internal wars? We think that if we just close our eyes, it will disappear. Sometimes we turn around, or go for a walk, or even run away...only to find that the monsters are still talking to us.
Recently I got a chance to catch up with a friend who went to Japan with us this last time. While we were there, she couldn't stop thinking about this boy that she had broken up with back home, her family and their problems, what she was going to do after she graduated college, where she would live, and what she would eat. LITERALLY! "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?" Matthew 6:25 Facing my monster number 1.When we are in the US, we worried about our fundraising and what to pack and what it would be like. Once we got there, we worried about life back home and about life once we returned. She hated life the whole time we were there. But now that we're home, she is looking into becoming a missionary. It would be easier for her to move overseas to deal with the issues that come with that instead of facing her monsters here.
There is another couple in our small group that desperately wants kids. Every month there is much prayer and petitioning to get pregnant. And so far, no baby. Every week we come together and ask for prayer in aspects of our lives, and every week we pretend to face our monsters. One time the prayer was that they could just get pregnant, that would make all their worry go away. That if they just got pregnant, their marriage and interpersonal and money monsters would just go away, just for a little bit.
Michael and I have been facing our own monsters lately. We have been seeing a financial planner, which is a very interesting experience for two savers. Monster number three. Now that baby boy is moving and squirming around, I am supposed to monitor if his movement decreases. I can't just close my eyes or forget how many times he has kicked. I can't just go out for drinks with friends and tend to pregnancy business when I get home. Monster 4. Are we ready for a baby? I don't think anyone can ever be fully ready. But we sure are excited to grow this little guy and meet him when the time comes :) And we're excited to provide for him and love him and nurture him to be a wonderful, independent, Godly man :) Now, all the interpersonal stuff that comes along with having the first baby? Heck no. Worrying about how people will feel or how they will react? Heck no. Trusting others that they won't lose my little boy in a museum or let him drown at the pool? Heck no. Monster 5. Sure, I could keep this little guy to myself and just send pictures to everyone. Sure, I could read him all the books and tell him how to be social and deal with others. Sure, I could feed him all the best food and keep him on the best schedule. Sure, I could focus on exercise and rest and ice and elevating for the next three months. Sure, I could realize that we got pregnant and that is the biggest feat for some people. Sure, we could keep moving around to avoid getting close to people, holding them at a distance. Sure, I could continually worry about issues that are NOT right in front of me. It would be very easy to do, for a while. But when I open my eyes, I don't want to face 5 monsters alone.
I believe we are called to more than that. I believe we are to share our lives, good and the bad, with people. Our ministry leader in college always said that 3 things will last: God, His Word, and people. Our actions, our accomplishments, and our goals won't last. It won't matter what we had in our hearts to do. It won't matter how many years we did this or that, or how our hearts felt. It will matter how much time and energy we spent with God. It will matter how much we really searched His Words and knew his character. It will matter how we treated his people and helped them. If we have great faith and great scholar knowledge of the Bible, but are not close to His people, we are nothing. If we read the Bible and tell people, but don't have a personal relationship with God, we are nothing. If we pray and spend time with God and people, but don't take the time to "listen" to God by reading the Bible, we are nothing. Easy to do. But not a monster. This is our purpose, this is our flashlight to look under the bed to beat the monsters. Trust God. Deal with your issues.
