back to the basics

What do you believe about God? How much control does God have over your life? How and why were you created? Who was Jesus, what did he do? What does that have to do with your life? What will you do from now on?

These, and more, are the questions I had the honor and privilege to explore with a girl named Ai last night. She has been living in Lawrence, Kansas for the past year, studying there. Once she got back, she met us through Kazu (the guy that started reading the Bible this summer and wants to be more like Jesus). Yesterday, she and Meg went to a Judo tournament and then toured around her hometown all day. I, of course, stayed home to rest my ankle and make dinner. After dinner, we watched a little bit of a DVD from her last hip hop dance performance. Near the end, she got a phone call and went into my room to talk on the phone. She saw my new bilingual Bible open to John 5 on my bed, and started reading. She ran back into the room holding my Bible, and asked if she could read it while we were watching the performance. Have you ever had one of those experiences when you're beaming but trying to play it cool? Yeah, that was last night!! At the end of the DVD, we spent the next 3 1/2 hours exploring her questions and religion and history and what we believe. Megumi and I went through general ideas of the Bible, the story of Job, some of the gospels, Paul's story, and some of the reasons we read the Bible. Megumi shared her story and why she believes in and reads the Bible. It was just SUCH an amazing time of growth and exploration. When Megumi had to leave (at midnight!) we stayed up and watched Step Up, and then hit the hay. This morning she left me a little note, saying she really enjoyed reading and talking about the Bible, and she wants to do it again a few more times before I leave. But, she would also like to continue to read with megumi, and maybe even email me questions and chat online sometime :)

God is good. Through thick and thin, God is faithful :D

week of love

Well, school's out, and the Koreans are coming!!! No, this isn't some sort of strange invasion. A lot of the Japanese staff here are actually from Korea, and tonight, their spiritual leaders from Korea are coming to visit for a few days. The past week and a half I've had a LOT of time to hang out with Naoko and Megumi, and even Mrs. Shin and just learn about how Navigators ministries are structured all over the world. I'm very interested in just learning how leadership, submission, even relationships look in different places. Apparently in Korea, it is VERY structured. The "spiritual leaders" as they call them, are the final say in any big decision. Lee, our 32 year old Korean friend studying Psychology at a grad school here, said he had to wait 4 years before his spiritual leaders would give him permission to go to Japan. He knows it was for the best, but he sure was frustrated for a long time. Mr. and Mrs. Shin and Jun and Hiroko had their relationships before marriage run by their spiritual leaders. When the men thought they were ready to get married, they talked to their male spiritual leader, who then talked to the women's spiritual leader, who then mentioned the name of a woman ready for marriage. The men pray about it, then the leaders tell the woman. The woman then prays about it, and they decide. Mr. and Mrs. Shin dated for a month, then got engaged, and a month and a half later, were married. Jun and Hiroko had 3 months between talking with their leaders and their marriage. And they've been very happily married ever since! I'm wondering what the differences are. Bigger sense that God is in control? Better obedience to leaders means better obedience to God and to their partner? It's just how they do? So, that's what I've been studying the past week. I wish I could go to Korea and see their Navigators. Koreans are very similar to Americans- very open and blunt about things, very open about their bodies (we learned this in the public bath. oh baby), and have a similar sense of humor. But, I've heard they are also very strict about studies, religion, etc. High-schoolers go to school at 7am, stay in the library studying until 10pm, come home and do homework until around 2am, sleep for a few hours, and wake up and do it again. Their weekends are spent at school studying for the big exam to enter college. Do you know ANY high-schooler in America that would attempt such a schedule, and could handle it for more than 2 months? Right.

But, all this time without students has me thinking. I've been growing closer and closer to Naoko and Megumi. With all the difficulties I've had with my American team, I really value these 2 ladies who have taken me in and consider me a sister. The other night, Naoko and I had "date night". We made kimchi (spicy Korean food) and watched "Dangerous Beauty 2" also known as "Miss Congeniality 2" :P Afterwards, we just sat and talked and laughed for hours upon hours. She loves to talk about my wedding, insisting that I get married next summer so she can come. We're trying to organize a trip to bring a few students to CO to tour the Navigators headquarters and do a homestay at my beautiful home in CO Springs. The staff would be able to talk to leaders from different Universities, as well as from headquarters. If any of you are interested in helping plan or fundraise for that, PLEASE let me know!!! But anyway, I'm just so thankful for them and their company. Naoko and I cook together usually at least once a day, and we teach each other about life and love and God. Sundays we do a quiet time together and share our thoughts about a verse in Proverbs. I'm just so thankful for these sisters that I've found, even if it took me traveling across the globe to find them.

Please continue to pray for relationships with the students, and their exams. Please also pray for all the Summer Impact Japan teams, as we have 2 1/2 weeks left and are getting slightly antsy to just return home. Please also pray for our friends and families, that they will greet us with open arms for the little time we will be home before heading off to Universities, and that we will be able to process this summer and the amazing work God has been doing in our hearts through this. Thank you so much for your support and constant encouragement. I really can't thank you enough for what this summer has done/is doing in my life.

No pain, no gain.

I'm sure we've all heard this expression before. It means we must experience some pain before we can win anything-- usually with sports, that hurting just makes you stronger and more likely to win a game. But what about in life? I used to think emotions, like pain, were bad. Crying showed you were weak; anxiety showed you were irresponsible. I read somewhere a few years ago, though, that pain is a signal to the body that something is wrong. Emotions, like pain, are a sign to the mind that something is wrong. It is when we ignore or repress these emotions or feelings of pain, however, that we get burned-- literally or figuratively! Sometimes, I do admit, we women are crazy and will feel sad for no apparent reason... but is it really for NO reason? I personally think women are crazy, but not for the reason you think. I think we women are crazy because it is hard to accept that someone loves us unconditionally, passionately, wants to be with us always, loves us no matter what, wants what is best for us, and encourages us to be better but loves us exactly as we are. It is hard to accept that God is like that, not men. Over and over this trip I've learned just how much I try to avoid thinking about these things. When I feel anxious or even bored, I will watch a movie, listen to music, read, or even try to find someone to talk to, JUST so that I don't have to listen to what is going on in my head. I think it is really common for us to feel that way, that if we sit still and start to think about our problems, that would be just like opening a can of worms, worms that might possibly kill us. I believe that God is all-powerful, all-good, all-knowing, and all-around wonderful, but why do I have a hard time trusting that it would benefit me the most to face my giants? Well, I've decided to face them. If I want to move on with my life and start a family someday (don't worry dad, still not that soon), I need to face my issues and work through them, fighting with God if I have to. "Faith without actions is dead". I believe that God is in control, so I must act like God will take care of me. That means not being afraid of thinking about my past and the inner workings of my brain.

Speaking of God's sovereignty... tonight really blew me away. My ankle got a lot worse after last night (the baseball game, see previous post), and I really started to wonder why I'm still here for the next 3 weeks. Should I just go home? I can pray from anywhere. God is showing me, over and over again, that my "spiritual gifts" or just talents in general are ONLY a gift from God, and should be used in EVERYTHING to serve God. For example, when I first hurt my ankle, it freed me to write the Bible discussions. They were really, really effective and started a new way of thinking for BEST club. The next week, I started praying for Meg and Naoko when they would go eat lunch or have coffee with girls. As soon as I got over myself and my "gift" of drawing people out of their shells, the girls started talking about their lives, opening up, and asking questions about M/N's lives and their beliefs about spiritual things. So I thought I had the "gift" of prayer, so I would pray almost continually, about everything. I would pray that we wouldn't burn dinner, that no one would get in a bike accident, that test results would come out okay, that the kids playing outside would grow up to love their parents. And the list goes on and on! Well, ew made a disaster out of dinner, Rob got sick, there was another bike accident, and my ankle got worse. Tonight, Ai was coming over to hang out before BEST club. Megumi and I got together to talk about what we wanted to talk about, what to share, etc. I wanted to focus on just getting to know her, before we intentionally start talking about the Bible. Talk about not acting in belief of God's sovereignty! As soon as everyone else left, and Megumi went to get a car to give me a ride, Ai brought up the Bible and started asking questions about my life and my religion and my beliefs (I should really post that on here sometime, it's interesting, I think. Maybe not what you'd expect). I showed up to BEST club expecting to just teach the game, English, and then ask questions about the Bible discussion but mostly pray for the conversation. Talk about not trusting God's sovereignty! Tonight each section led to Jesus. By the end of it, the student was wanting to know about Jesus, what it means to have eternal life, and what the Bible says it would take to get that. Talk about exciting!! It was like something came over me, I don't know where the words came from, but apparently it was exactly what the student needed to hear. At the end of the discussion, I asked what his last thoughts were about this semester. He said Jesus is very wonderous, and it's no wonder so many people choose to follow him even today. He said he wants to be like Jesus. Well, Kazu, I want to be like Jesus too.

School's out for the summer

Well, for us anyway. We had our last day of classes yesterday. Starting next week, for the next 3 weeks, the students have exams. Most have between 8-13 classes, so basically we have no clue how much we'll be able to see them. I'm praying that we will have more of an opportunity to serve the Japanese staff here, as well as people we know in the community. They're having a big farewell party for us on August 2 (Meg's 22nd bday), then Rob flies out on the 5th, and we head to Tokyo the 7th. We'll spend the night with the rest of the SIJ'ers from other cities, and head to the airport on August 8. Time is such a weird creature. Sometimes it's slower than molasses, but it all catches up to you in the end.

Speaking of time and things catching up to you... Mr. Shin got test results back and praise the Lord, it isn't cancer! I'm not sure if I completely understand due to bad translation of medical terms, but something about there's a hole in his lung, and an infection. He needs to stay in the hospital another 2 weeks (so 4 weeks total) and it will take another month to heal. We know he is saved and would go to a better place, so we're not worried if something happens to him, but more so what his wife is going through. It's tough with bad things happen, but at least in this case we can possibly see why. Sometimes it takes something like this to teach us to just slow down and focus on God.

And that's exactly what I'm learning. Yesterday after class, we met our friends and went to a Fukuoka Hawks (baseball) game. It was so cool! They stand up and use these things that look like bats to do all sorts of cheers and claps and such. About a quarter of the stadium is people in these robe uniforms that look like a part of a cheer squad, playing trumpets and drums and leading cheers and such. It was so exciting! Unfortunately, by the 8th inning I had to call for a ride home because my ankle was throbbing and swelled up pretty badly, the score was 5-3 the Hawks losing. Apparently, there was much excitement after we left and the Hawks won! So fun :D Anyway, with my ankle hurting as much as it still does, I don't think it would be the best idea for me to go to Nagasaki this weekend with everyone :( So, we're trying to figure out what to do with me. I could probably stay with the Shins (Mrs and the 2 kids), or stay in my apartment by myself. There's a girl visiting from Korea that can't go because she can't afford it, so if she still doesn't go then maybe I'll stay with her. Either way, please continue to pray for all these things, and encouragement for everyone. I know we're getting pretty tired, and have no clue what these next 3 weeks will bring.

Come to me all who are weary..

Well, it's about time. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". It's no wonder we're all so tired. It's amazing that when I'm feeling saddened, depressed, restless, and tired, I will do anything and everything but go to God. I might watch a movie, look to talk to a friend, go on a walk, try to take a nap, or anything other than just spend some time with God. I might pray that He will take this away from me, repeating promises and reminding Him of scripture. Could I be any more dense?

Anyway, my heart has been way burdened lately. Saturday, I wasn't able to go on the beach trip with everyone because of my ankle, so I spent the day with my newest best friend, Mrs. Shin. We ended up going to this really cool outlet mall on a pier, and getting wedding presents for Hiromi (the lady who got married a few weeks back). She is just so encouraging and so wonderful to be around! Hiroko, Jun's wife, (she's cute as a button!) also went with us, and she's so fun. She's very nervous about speaking English, even though she does it quite well. She has driven me around sometimes and I guess she even practiced some English with Naoko just so she could speak to me. I guess I make a big deal out of saying thank you, because she had Naoko practice saying "it's my pleasure, really", but instead, she said "you're my treasure". How cute is that?! But, that afternoon we went to the hospital to visit Mr.Shin. Supposedly we will get his test results today, to find out if it is lung cancer or something else. We're praying for just pneumonia, and a temporary bacterial infection. Needless to say, the Shins are one of the most moving families I have ever met, and the most hardworking! The couple is very much in love, and SO devoted to God and each other! Their daughter, Nachung, is studying to enter University, and she chooses to study at her father's bedside because it is so quiet. They took the afternoon to visit, so it was 3 of the Shins and me. We're all injured-my ankle, Nachun's thumb, Mrs. Shin's shoulder, and Mr. Shin. It was fun! We were all trying to take our mind off things, so I started asking about their family's dynamics, a lot of what Nachung thought, and then Mr. Shin brought up marriage and Michael and all sorts of other good stuff. Needless to say, it ended it in a very long story about how they met and got engaged and married and everything. Dating, engaged, and married in a total of 3 1/2 months. Talk about devotion to God though, tomorrow is their 24th anniversary, and they've never had a real honeymoon. Their wedding night, they went to a Navigators conference with 700 other people, slept in rooms with 50 other people, gender-gender (so separate rooms in separate buildings) for the next 3 days. One day later, they moved to Japan from Korea. They haven't stopped ever since.

After all this commotion and long days of feeling tired, neglected, alienated, and lashed-out at, I was ready to go home. Yesterday I even told a few friends I was ready to go home, and my heart was very heavy. Today, I finally got some good alone-time to read the Bible, and, as usual, was very much encouraged! That's one great thing about the Bible, it never stops speaking directly to where you are in life, if you just open your heart and open the book. So, some encouragement to pass on, or just to remind myself later :)

My prayer and thoughts for this update: 2 Corinthians 1:7-11"And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

Reminder, guilt into action, encouragement to continue: 2 Corinithians 9:6-7 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

My mantra anytime I'm feeling empty or anxious: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Galatians 6:8-9 "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

have a little faith in me

Apparently that's not just a song, but what God is continually telling me. And by continually, I mean just about every second nowadays. Today was just another day of bad news right after the other. There are some people back home in rehab for some nasty diseases of the mind, some that were even praying for me on this trip and I didn't know what they were going through. I'm a terrible friend. Another friend's grandpa was found crushed by his tractor and is now hospitalized, although nothing is broken, miraculously enough. I couldn't walk to school, but thankfully my new best friend, Mrs.Shin, was gracious enough (and available) to drive me both ways. On the way back, she told me that her husband (the leader of the fellowship here, president of his company, and father of 2 highschoolers) had been hospitalized that morning for pneumonia, and probably wouldn't be out for at least a few days. We later found out they had to transfer him to another hospital because the infection was so progressed, and he won't be out until Monday (today is Wed). One of my teammates has come down with a pretty bad infection and shouldn't sweat for as long as he can (which means not going outside, because its 98 degrees outside). My Japanese roomie is having REALLY bad financial problems, and feels like she needs to pick up a 3rd part-time job, which would completely cut her out of the ministry (although she stays faithful to her calling to the ministry and refuses a 3rd job or full-time job because of that reason). There is pretty much continual bad news from people back home, about relationships and such, except for the 5 billion weddings this summer. Kidding, not 5 billion, maybe 15 so far. Really. It looks like once again the CO house will be looking for more roomies, so if you or someone you know is interested, please let me know :)

But God is faithful. I was looking over 1 Corinthians 10:13 again the other day, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." I believe God is totally good, and works for the GOOD of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I do believe I'm working hard, and that I have been called here for God's plan. But according to Corinthians, God does let us be tempted. Some temptations are depression, sadness, lack of righteousness/Godliness, lack of hope, lack of love, lack of faith. I know God is faithful and will not tempt be beyond what I can bear, but it is getting difficult to bear. I guess that's why Jesus carried the cross for us, and continued to bear our burdens. Phillipians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So I'm good, I just tell God what I'm going through and I will have peace even though I do not understand...right? I don't think this "present"ing merely means telling God about it. I think it means presenting it as a sacrifice, giving it away. If I tell my dad about a speeding ticket, that doesn't make anyone feel better; but if I give the ticket to him and let him take care of it and have full confidence he will and won't hold it against me, I believe I am presenting him with my burden (no worries, Dad, that was just an example, still no tickets for me). How much greater is that what our Father in heaven wants!

Then I get a great message from my lovely and amazing mentor and discipler, Suz the Vukovich, amazing Godly woman who works for Eagle Lake Camp year-round. She, as usually, told me exactly what I needed to hear (she's great like that). She sent me Psalm 90, which isn't so happy-go-lucky but very honest and exactly what I needed.. some snippets include "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. 2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. 3 You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. 5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-6 though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. 8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. 9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. 12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. 14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. 15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. 16 May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. 17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.

Please continue to pray with me all these things.

this is why i'm hot

I'm hot because it was 90 degrees (farenheit) today, and I was inside the apartment, with the stove going for a bit. Yikes! Anyway, I love Japan.

Tonight was SOOOO amazing! I guess this hurt ankle is definitely not for not. Wakarimashka (make sense?)? This week, I was in charge of preparing the Bible discussion part of the BEST club meeting. Apparently, it was a good thing. It seems as though a lot of students in Japan have never heard of the Bible, much less read it. Instead of reading the Bible, I thought it would be good for students to have some background about it, and know who Jesus was. I made a short powerpoint about where Jesus was born, what he did, where he traveled, how he died, etc. Then, we split into groups and Meg and I each led discussions about things Jesus did. It was absolutely amazing!! We read about Jesus calming the storm (not walking on water), Jesus feeding the 5000, and healing the sick. Last week one of the students, Kazu, came up and asked how to read the Bible, like what I do. So, this week, I sort of walked through what I do when I read stories from the Bible. I envision them, thinking about it like a movie, setting the scene, etc. Then, I ask questions. I am definitely a psychologist, so I ask a lot of "why did this person do that? Why would they think that? How can they change that?" questions. I am also my father's daughter, so I play the devil's advocate and like to argue with myself about the verses. It was absolutely amazing! By the end of it, Kazu, Shin, and Fumiya (the 3 students in my group) were all asking questions and learning to read the Bible on their own. They even took 2 passages to read this week and want to talk about next week! :D Apparently it took a sprained ankle and lots of bedrest to make me realize how much power I have by just preparing and praying. The prayer especially paid off, I believe, because Meg said she had the same group as last time and they were almost silent the whole time, but this week she only spoke twice, and the rest of the time the students were talking non-stop! At one point they were even comparing Buddhism to Christianity, and two students were even pointing to particular verses that helped them realize they wanted to follow Jesus instead of anything else. How powerful is that?!?! Man, God is so good :) Even Mrs.Shin (I've decided she's my favorite right now) decided to come to tonight, first so she could give me a ride, second so she could check out my talk tonight. In her words, "usually I teach, children listen. Tonight, you teach, me student". She's been having MAJOR issues with her achy shoulder, and tonight she was reminded to have faith, from the storm story. She has been involved in ministry for over 25 years, and she still was reminded by a simple story of a miracle and Jesus's power. Wow.

Just a thought, if anyone wants to explore the Bible and what it says, what it means, who Jesus was, or why people followed and still follow him, please let me know :) I would love to look into that with you when I'm back in the States :) One of the great things about the Bible is that you don't need anyone to tell you what it means, what you should read, or what to think. If you pick it up and start reading for yourself, you might just be changed. You might even get happy. You might even find something bigger than you could have imagined....

be our guest.

Well, I was able to get an x-ray yesterday, and it's not broken!! Praise the Lord! But, he did say it might take another 2-3 weeks for the pain to subside IF I stay off of it. I'm trying to find my new stay-at-home niche, so I thought a great way to use my gifts would be to cook! Yesterday we had 9 friends over for dinner, and they wanted to sample American food. I sat down and cooked banana bread, cheesecake, sloppy Joe's, and Meg made salad and fruit salad. Mmmmm SO GOOD! But, at the end of the night, my ankle was extremely puffy and painful :/ Needless to say, I'm still working on merely being content in being God's child, and that His grace is sufficient.

But, all of this has got me started thinking... this summer during orientation, we talked a lot about John 12:24-27 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. 27"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." This summer especially, we are aiming to be that dying seed.

Over the past year, I have been questioning what it REALLY means to serve someone. I have read the books about love languages, and mine is without a doubt "Acts of Service". This is why I love cooking for people, giving things to people, helping people move, and basically just helping with their everyday needs. Especially over the past year, I have struggled to figure out how that fits into society, and people in general. Most people really enjoy it when someone helps them out, but it is also an issue for some. For example, some guys felt like they should have to ask for help before it be given to them. I had a pride issue in that, because no other love language or acts of love must be given permission. You wouldn't ask someone, "Hey, would you mind if I called you beautiful real quick?" You wouldn't necessarily ask, "Would you mind if I got you a gift from where I'm going?". My second biggest love language is quality time, yet another thing that requires mutual consent. You can't have good time with someone unless they eagerly want to spend time with you also. This works well for those with whom I'm close, but what about those people that I don't know well yet? What about those people with whom I need to make amends? What about strangers? Using my gifts, how in the world can I serve those people? This are just a few of the questions I've struggled with over the past year, and what I've reasoned is one of my biggest problems in keeping in touch with people, and making amends with those whom I've hurt. I think that's one of the biggest reasons I get along with the Japanese so well, because they are SO focused on serving other people through actions-- the source of some HUGE miscommunications between the American team and our Japanese team. My Japanese roomie get along really, really, REALLY well. It has been a HUGE source of encouragement since being here, especially with all the roomie junk I experienced in CO. Before thinking about this, I was even starting to think about selling the house, again, or moving back to CA after December. I'm not sure where God wants me, and that frustrates me.

But back to service. So really, what is service. If you're serving someone, it's like loving them hardcore. John 15:13 says, " Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". So if love is laying down our life for our friends, what, exactly, does that look like? There was a short incident yesterday; we're all getting tired and frustrated, and the miscommunications just keep coming. Anyway, yesterday a friend finally said, "I keep my room spotless, I do the dishes, I keep my laundry clean, I pick up after everyone, I'm serving her like I've never served anyone before!". Something along those lines, about serving the Japanese. That really made me think. I don't keep my room SPOTLESS like they do, I don't do my laundry every week (I also brought more clothes..yikes). I'm terrible about doing my dishes RIGHT after I eat. I cook for them a lot but don't really clean for them. What's the difference? The heart. Jesus said in Matthew, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second [commandment] is like it-- love your neighbor as yourself". But if we are treating our neighbor as we want to be treated, is that really serving them/sacrificing for them? If I want to eat less, so I help my roomie eat less, is that really helpful if she is starving? If I want the house to be cleaner, so I clean up for my roomie, does that help her if she just wants someone to listen? I would like to propose that it's more than that, its a heart attitude, looking out for the interest of those, what's best for those we love, instead of just what they say they want, or the things they do. The Japanese seem VERY stressed, but they also would not tell you something they need-- it's all about actions. But when we act, they read more into it than we even know we mean by it. Ouch. Maybe we Americans need some communication training in the art of serving others. Or maybe interpersonal communication?

If you have thoughts about service, communication, helpful advice for the ankle/roomies/life/love, please comment or respond :) Thanks for listening!