have a little faith in me

Apparently that's not just a song, but what God is continually telling me. And by continually, I mean just about every second nowadays. Today was just another day of bad news right after the other. There are some people back home in rehab for some nasty diseases of the mind, some that were even praying for me on this trip and I didn't know what they were going through. I'm a terrible friend. Another friend's grandpa was found crushed by his tractor and is now hospitalized, although nothing is broken, miraculously enough. I couldn't walk to school, but thankfully my new best friend, Mrs.Shin, was gracious enough (and available) to drive me both ways. On the way back, she told me that her husband (the leader of the fellowship here, president of his company, and father of 2 highschoolers) had been hospitalized that morning for pneumonia, and probably wouldn't be out for at least a few days. We later found out they had to transfer him to another hospital because the infection was so progressed, and he won't be out until Monday (today is Wed). One of my teammates has come down with a pretty bad infection and shouldn't sweat for as long as he can (which means not going outside, because its 98 degrees outside). My Japanese roomie is having REALLY bad financial problems, and feels like she needs to pick up a 3rd part-time job, which would completely cut her out of the ministry (although she stays faithful to her calling to the ministry and refuses a 3rd job or full-time job because of that reason). There is pretty much continual bad news from people back home, about relationships and such, except for the 5 billion weddings this summer. Kidding, not 5 billion, maybe 15 so far. Really. It looks like once again the CO house will be looking for more roomies, so if you or someone you know is interested, please let me know :)

But God is faithful. I was looking over 1 Corinthians 10:13 again the other day, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." I believe God is totally good, and works for the GOOD of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I do believe I'm working hard, and that I have been called here for God's plan. But according to Corinthians, God does let us be tempted. Some temptations are depression, sadness, lack of righteousness/Godliness, lack of hope, lack of love, lack of faith. I know God is faithful and will not tempt be beyond what I can bear, but it is getting difficult to bear. I guess that's why Jesus carried the cross for us, and continued to bear our burdens. Phillipians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So I'm good, I just tell God what I'm going through and I will have peace even though I do not understand...right? I don't think this "present"ing merely means telling God about it. I think it means presenting it as a sacrifice, giving it away. If I tell my dad about a speeding ticket, that doesn't make anyone feel better; but if I give the ticket to him and let him take care of it and have full confidence he will and won't hold it against me, I believe I am presenting him with my burden (no worries, Dad, that was just an example, still no tickets for me). How much greater is that what our Father in heaven wants!

Then I get a great message from my lovely and amazing mentor and discipler, Suz the Vukovich, amazing Godly woman who works for Eagle Lake Camp year-round. She, as usually, told me exactly what I needed to hear (she's great like that). She sent me Psalm 90, which isn't so happy-go-lucky but very honest and exactly what I needed.. some snippets include "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. 2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. 3 You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. 5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-6 though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. 8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. 9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. 12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. 14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. 15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. 16 May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. 17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.

Please continue to pray with me all these things.