i just sneezed

Ouch! As some of you know, I had nose surgery last week. Recovery has been remarkably quick, getting lots of rest, catching up on my TLC and HDTV shows, crushed ice, and antibiotics. I didn't get terribly bruised, which was a nice surprise. And the best part? I've been able to enjoy Golden Spoon (frozen yogurt) with my parents again :) Christmas is quickly approaching, and it's easier to remember the reason for the season when I can't see all the fake santas, fake snowmen (bc I'm in CA), lights, presents, overcrowded parking lots, and Christmas lights on the palm trees (sadly enough, that's what makes it feel like Christmas for me). I've realized this holiday season that stress isn't an excuse for our actions, stress is a magnification of our true selves. Sorry for the psychological mumbo jumbo, one of my classes dealt with existential issues and it's had my mind reeling for months. But really, people shouldn't say "sorry, excuse my actions, we're stressed". We should say "this is me, I'm stressed". We each have a certain threshold, called our "cognitive load". That is, we can each have a certain amount of stuff rolling around in our brains, whether concious or subconcious. One theory talks about how women are stuck on our looks, how if we dress in a bikini we will do worse on a math test than if we dress in a sweater; this is because our mind is subconciously freaking out, monitoring our looks, while our concious tries to work out math problems. During this holiday season, our schedules tell more about us than anything else. Our stress and our reactions are like a looking glass to our soul. Wow, that sounds really deep, but it's not. For example, I get really stressed when people are relying on me for something, and for some reason I can't follow through. One example clear in my mind is when Michael and Bryson were visiting CA and wanted to go to Disneyland. Farrel came over early, and we were trying to get extra cheap tickets for us poor college students. For some reason, the website wasn't working, we couldn't get the cheap discount, and Farrel really wanted to go. If it was up to me, I would have gotten the ticket weeks ago, but I had been waiting on the discount package from my dad. I would have checked the website the night before, but they convinced me to just do it in the morning, enjoy the evening at the beach. Well, I got really stressed and kept running around, calling people, checking different computers, trying to get it to work. That's my nature; I'm realiable, I get things done, I enable people to do stuff they want, usually for cheap. I use what I have, know people's needs and wants, and connect the two; it's what I do, it's who I am. So, true to form, this Christmas I finished my shopping before Thanksgiving, made full use of free shipping, and had everything ready before I got here and before surgery. Thinking about this made me realize how much balance there is in this world.

On the airplane I read the second book in the "Love and Respect" series. It talks about how men have a natural and innate NEED for respect, and how women have the same NEED for love. More importantly, it talks about how to express these needs, and how to meet the needs of the partner. This particular book talks about communication, and how our differences balance out due to our natural needs and talents. Women, in general, have this instinct. Men, in general, have insight. This explains why many men and women get into a "discussion" in which women start talking about problems during their day, men start trying to solve the problem, they both get upset. Thankfully Michael and I weren't built like most typical woman and man, but still, we both understand the need to be heard, to be vulnerable to say, and to realistically solve problems. This natural give and take in relationships, just how we were each individually made, and how things turn out make me think about how much balance there is in nature. This sounds silly, but even how we drink milk with cookies, adding protein so we can break down the sugars, how food nourishes the body, breaks it down to build us up. I'm constantly amazed at how this world is arranged, and I wonder how people can learn about science, nature, the environment, people, social systems, and not believe in a higher being. People criticize that this world is too random to be arranged, but what if the vastness is so vast that it couldn't be random? A friend came up with a few theories about random numbers, and even found that "randomized" numbers are never random. Maybe events aren't random either. Just a thought.

Okay well I guess it's time for some more ice and maybe a nap. A quick update: I'm in CA until January 9, then crazy busy until finals end March 13 (assuming I finish my online class when I want), spring break with navs in CA, then probably stay in CA for as long as I can (probably about a month), head back to Colorado to find a job, get everything ready at the house, graduation hopefully with most of the family coming to visit, and start my life as a graduate. That's about it for now, I'm sure this post hasn't made any sense at all, but that's okay. Merry Christmas! Unto us a Child is born, unto us a Savior is given. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace. Amen :)

a wonderful place

Well, as I'm sitting here wasting time, I realize I'm at an absolutely wonderful place in my life. With all these changes that have taken place in the past year, and all the wonderous changes that will probably take place in the next year, I'm really at a great place in my life :) Sure, that doesn't mean things are going as planned or everything is hunky-dory, but I'm joyful. Really joyful. I have a wonderful room in a wonderful house with wonderful roomies. I have a wonderful/handsome boyfriend with a wonderful family (well, we'll see about the rest of the family next week ;) eek!). I am in an amazing Bible study, am well on my way to graduating, have a potential career I REALLY enjoy and can make a lifelong profession and lifestyle. Sure, I've been in bed with food poisoning for the past week, sure there is a lot of unknown with some family and friends' health issues, and sure, I'm 1000 miles away from those who love me the most. But you know what? I'm joyful. I have a Father who loves me and cherishes me and takes care of my NEEDS. The difference between a need and a want is the intent of the result. A need results in upkeep, maintenence, filling a hole. A want goes beyond that. I do not have all that I want or desire, but because my God gives me my needs, I have everything I could want :) Especially these days with the economy, I think it's easy to forget that. Even this past week I've started looking for a job in Colorado, pretty much anything that pays, to work May 1-August 15ish. It's easy to get frustrated with the economy, that I can't find a job that would be enjoyable AND fulfilling financially. But, I remember that I have more than I could ask for.

Well, that's it for now I guess. One week from right now I will (hopefully) be in Kansas, celebrating a wonderful woman's birthday :) and then maybe shlopping it in pig poop, or walking around an old folks' home. We shall see, we shall see.

it's beginning to look a lot like...

Well, I'm not sure what. The holidays are quickly approaching, and I'm not going home to California. Family and friends are distraught, but I know it will be okay :D They will be okay, I will be okay. At least that's what I keep telling myself. I'm almost done with Christmas shopping. Crazy, I know, I know, especially since it's not yet Thanksgiving. But, I'm having nose surgery the day after I get home, and I'll be bruised until Christmas, so better prepared than scaring people in public, aye? I'm hoping to get lots of movie time in with my Gramsie and Farrel.

More exciting news, I finished all my busywork homework and three out of my four projects for the semester. Basically, I'm done with homework until December. I'm trying to finish everything before Senioritis sets in. Speaking of Seniors... I am one! I got my schedule pounded out for next semester, and I'm going to take a Winterim (one week, watching movies and writing papers), an online critical thinking class, a computer class, and a Women/Aging Gerontology class... all that, and I'll be done by March!! I'm thinking take a bunch of friends home for Spring break, send them back on an airplane, and enjoy a few weeks of rest at home with my Gramsie, poolside, without a care in the world, before I'm thrown into the real world. Speaking of the real world, I'm hoping to find a job in the Springs for April-Octoberish. Something that pays well so that I can keep my savings up while I'm in Cosmetology school here in the Springs. If you know of anyone or anything, please don't hesitate to let me know :) Well, sorry I didn't update more, I'm off to clean a bit for my hot date in tomorrow. Almost a year, being vulnerable, and growing immensely as an individual, a girlfriend, and a child of God :D

the good times, and the in-between times

Well, school is in full force now. We started mid-terms this week. Now, for all you Californians, I know that must sound crazy because most of you just started school last week. I've been in school for a month and two weeks now!! Anyway, my schedule is pretty settled and it's nice to have routine. Bible study is all set up and going extremely, extremely well! There are 2 nurse-graduates, me and Chelsea (seniors), and 4 junior transfer students, and it's amazing!! After Bible study and before Navs, we hang out and get grub somewhere, and it's just amazing to see God moving in their lives, and through me. Last night one of the girls started talking about relationships (something I love to study and talk about), and she wants to keep meeting one-on-one :D Thank you, Lord! I finally feel that I'm in my place in school, Navs, the house, life, and with my walk with God. The only thing that's missing is family :/ I'm starting to get REALLY homesick, and I won't be able to go home until Christmas. I miss hanging out with aunts and uncles every weekend. I miss being able to hang out with my dad and go to sports or the movies or the beach. I'm missing out on my cousins' lives. Two of them are under the age of 4, and I've seen them maybe 3 or 4 times since they were born. Colorado sure is amazing, and I believe it's where God wants me, but it sure is getting hard thinking about the future without my family nearby.

One comfort, though, is my Michael. Yesterday we celebrated 10 wonderful months of dating :D He cares for me, cherishes me, communicates with me, and treats me absolutely great. He's smart and funny and outdoorsy and creative, and tall, dark, and handsome ;) with glasses (for now)! I can even wear heels and he's still taller than I am! What a treat! I laugh sometimes when I think of how far we, and I , have come. Almost exactly a year ago, a friend called me up and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. A bunch of us from leadership always went to dinner together Tuesdays, so of course I said sure. We decided where we wanted to go, and when, he said he would pick me up, and then he hung up. GUlp. I always drove myself, and other people! It was a date. It totally was. I couldn't cancel because he was a really good friend. So, I tried to think about other things, and tried to stall conversations as soon as he picked me up. When we sat down, he told me how wonderful I was and how much he loved spending time with me, and waited for my response. I was sort of waiting on another guy at that point, so I told him that. Ouch. 2 months of extreme "we can't be friends" to "we can't be good friends but I still want to know how you are" to "its ok to hang out in groups, just not small groups" to "maybe you should reconsider and get back to me" to "okay, Michael, I'm open to trying it" after much conversation and soul-searching and deliberation with God. And here we are today :D almost 4 months total of us individually in Asia (him over Christmas to visit his sister in Taiwan, me in Japan the whole summer) and we're going strong. :D Oh man, I could go on for days about this man.

God is good, in the good times and the bad. God reigns.

back to school...back to school... just to show mom that i'm not a fool

Me and some of the gang from the first after-Refresh: the photo scavenger hunt! Michael, Hailey, me, April, (Victoria taking picture)

Well, I'm back in Colorado, back in school, back in Navs, and back to reality..in English! I'm taking 12 credits at school, decided to just finish in May instead of December and enjoy my last year at a University and really invest in women through Navs. It's really great :D I'm getting used to being a student, friend, daughter, sister, and girlfriend again (not that I wasn't before, but it wasn't in person for 3 months!). Although I landed in the US a month ago today, it seems like forever ago, and yesterday, at the same time. My life in Japan seems so distant, yet I'm still the same person I turned into while I was there. I love how I can go a week without listening to music or watching tv. I love how I really enjoy my roomies and how grown-up they are, and how we can approach each other from the same level. I love God. Not for what He does for me, but because of Who He is, what He stands for, and who He makes me, everyday, every minute. We start Bible study on Wednesday and I'm so excited because we're studying Ephesians. I've read this book probably at least 50 times, and every time something new stands out to me and challenges me. I'm also excited because I get to meet and hang out with some new Junior girls, 2 of which have studied at Bible colleges in Europe, 2 are from Illinois, Chels, and my Sarah (formerly "Snorwood"). I'm also excited because I met some really cool freshmen ladies that I hang out with sometimes. They're fun to be around and its refreshing to remember where I was only 3 years ago. I'm utterly amazed at how God has grown me, stretched me, molded me, and cared for me the past 3 years.

This semester will be crazy, despite my non-crazy classes schedule. Other than school, Navs, roomies, and friends, we will have random houseguests from Denver, Kansas, California, and possibly even Pennsylvania. I am a team leader for the Communications team, meaning I'm in charge of marketing/advertising/comm within the group for our UCCS Navs. Please continue to pray for me, our ministry at school, and the lives of those on campus, in Colorado Springs, and friends and family back home in California.

back in the US...SR?

Well, I'm back in the US! After 3 days of travel, I'm safely home in sunny California. I've learned it really helps if you fast (not eating, drinking lots of water) for at least twelve hours before your flight, then eat and sleep the same times as your arrival city. I think it really helps! The way there, I did it and had no trouble going to bed and waking up on time. This time, I did before the airport and successfully slept the first night, woke up, and am about to head to bed in a little bit on the second night. Praise the Lord!

I've already noticed some hardships after being back for the summer. I don't like when people say "Oh aren't you SO glad to be back?! Isnt the US the best place to be? Don't you appreciate everything about the US?". I was there for 2 1/2 months, absolutely love Japan, and it felt like my home. The best place to be is the place God wants me, whatever difficulties I encountered there. I noticed I'm having a hard time adjusting to the food in the US. I'm not interested in sweets and can't handle a ton of meat. How weird is that? Oh, and I'm craving a Japanese salad. Meg, you know what I mean. I'm also a TON quieter. I learned the value of listening and just being quiet. When people tell me a story, I don't feel like I have to ask a bunch of questions or return the story with one of my own. I find this a very good thing to be comfortable with silence, but apparently it's not. I also really value my alone-time, quiet time, and think time. I miss walking around and not hearing music blaring, but especially people not yelling. We were at a restaurant today and I noticed that people will call across the room to get someone's attention. My mind has been on overdrive ever since my mom picked me up from the airport. It's probably the combination of never being alone anymore, constant music and noise, thinking about the future while missing Naoko and Megumi and Ami and Ai and Chihiro and Jun and Hiroko and Mrs. Shin. Also, I can read street signs and restaurant signs and billboards and texts and books and advertisements and everything else; since I haven't been able to for the past 2 1/2 months, my brain keeps trying to read anything and everything, taking in way too much information for me to process. I can't even begin to start thinking about what I'm feeling because there is pressure from situations around here to process my trip all of a sudden and somehow put it into a cohesive package to tell people I see that want to know about my trip. I apologize if I seem a bit shocked when you ask me about my trip. If you'd like to know something specific, please ask questions about what you'd like to know. I can't handle questions like "So...tell me about your trip. How was it? How was Japan?" and especially not now. If I know you well and know what you would like to know about, of course I'll tell you. If not, please know that my trip was absolutely amazing and I learned a ton about myself, God, ministry, the Japanese, the Bible, my personal relationships, and human relationships in general. It was very worthwhile and I can't wait to see my new friends and their life changes again :) I would go back if I had the chance. I probably wouldn't go long-term because I feel a real calling towards ministry in the US, but I would go back to visit and learn about the Navigators ministries in other cities/countries/etc. Thank you for partnering with me to advance the kingdom in Japan! And thanks for reading :)

and pictures, too.

the view from my apartment window
rice field that was JUST planted before we got here, now a beautiful field in the middle of the city
Rob, Yugina, Shin-Young, Meg, me, Megumi at our tea party/final fellowship
the girls and I decided to enjoy whipped cream by putting it on each others noses. they thought it was hilarious, and it was fun!
I just posted a blog, so I thought I'd add pictures to boot. What a great summer of growth! :D Enjoy!

humility, service, pride, and refuge

So, I started packing up today. My ankle had a really hard time with all the festivities this weekend, even though I skipped out on the hannabis festival Friday to rest. It never ceases to amaze me how God uses the time that I give up to do His will, for me to do something that makes me feel a ton better. Friday I got an extra 3 hours reading the Bible, something I desperately needed after a week crammed full of preparing for US return, goodbye presents, combining and sorting through all 1400 pictures, more extremely hurtful and difficult times with/out my team, and less sleep because of all of that. It caused me to reflect on this summer and what I've learned, and how I will be changed because of this trip. Well, 4 major themes stuck out to me this summer: humility, service, pride, and refuge.

Humility. What, exactly, is it? A few weeks ago in Bible study Rob asked us to define it. Kyle and Meg agreed that it was submission of the heart. Say what? In Philippians, Paul talks about Jesus humbling himself to death, even death on a cross, and considering others above yourself. So I propose that true humility is submission in your actions because your heart truly considers others to be better than yourself. Some question that if we are truly to consider others better than ourselves, some people must consider themselves less than poop, and have a very, very low regard for themselves. I argue that those people that suffer from extremely low self-esteem do not gain a heart of humility, but rather, of pride. For example, have you ever known someone that claims they do not like the attention all on them? If we are made in Christ's image and truly believe we are worth dying for, why wouldn't we have attention? Listen to what that person is really saying. I've noticed that a few people like that claim they don't like attention in the midst of a crowd, but when they aren't in front of a crowd, that's all they talk about. When someone walks into a room, what do they say? Do they ask a question, make a statement, who is glorified by what they say? Makes you think... what are people noticing about me by what I say? Do I say and do the things I do BECAUSE I'm actually humble, or because I really think nothing of myself?

Another question I've been investigating is about service. What, really, is service? I have concluded that it can best be described as sacrificing something precious to us, for the good of God's will in the life of another. When we serve without sacrifice, it is deeds. Faith without deeds is dead, so deeds are definitely needed. Service is also for the other person's betterment, but not only what WE think is best for them, but what God knows is best. We were challenged to be the "dying seed" this summer. A seed must fall to the ground and die in order to produce fruit, and fruit that will last. We are not to die to the world, but to ourselves. We are to beat our bodies into submission. Why? The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. This not only means our outward bodies, but our minds as well. When we think we deserve something, we are weak. Christ was MURDERED for us. He was perfect, and through His acts we are now perfect. We don't deserve anything other than death and eternal suffering. I find it difficult to remember that when someone steals, cheats, lies, or does a disservice to me. Eternal perspective is a nice healthy dose of humility.

Now this brings me to pride. Pride in the ministry, right. The New Testament mentions some reasons for why people talk about Christ. That topic ends with the fact that even if people are preaching about Christ for their own gain, at least Christ is being preached. I know a lot, a lot, a lot of Americans especially have been VERY hurt by Christians- people that openly admit they follow Christ. Christians are humans too, and sinful ones at that. We are told to not judge, lest we be judged in the same way. Ai and I were talking the other day and she brought up the subject of different religious sects and religious wars. If you read the Bible, you will know that what matters is faith in Christ, and faith with deeds, confessing sin, and remaining in Christ. So really, I don't like the word "religion". I am a Christ follower, which is what "Christian" means originally. I have a personal relationship with Christ, meaning that I pray to Him (me speaking to God) and I read my Bible regularly (Him speaking to me). Really, what more is there? The greatest commandment is to Love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, and strength. And the second is like it, to love my neighbor as myself. Against such thing there really is NO law. If I am truly loving my God with all that I am and all that I have, I am doing no wrong. But how hard is that?!?!

Final thing. Refuge. This summer I gave up reading Christian books. I gave up talking on the phone. I gave up running to my friends when I wanted consoling. I even gave up my socializing (although NOT by my choice whatsoever). I even gave up watching movies for the first month. Classical conditioning. You know what it is? Think Pavlov's dogs. If we do certain things together, we train ourselves to do one even without the other present. Such was the thoughts behind giving all this up this summer. Whenever hard or even somewhat anxious times strike, I worked on training myself to turn to God, first through prayer, then through the Bible. After a while, even when no especially hard times were going on, I turned to God. Instead of God merely saving me, He was protecting me before anything happened. When my relationship with God started becoming more sparse, I felt bad times coming. Think of a relationship between you and your boyfriend (or girlfriend/husband/or wife). Life is best when communication between the two of you is in full swing. You share the trials as well as the triumphs. You are connecting and working as a team, and are uplifted. When the communication is less, and you turn to other things for comfort, things get rocky. There are more temptations, more chances for folly, pride and sin enter the picture. Same with us and God, I believe. If we are communicating with God regularly and seeking Truth from God first, there is less room for anything bad. "The Lord is my refuge and my strength. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love WILL follow me all the days of my life, and I will DWELL in the house of the Lord forever. " Psalm 23. Even though enemies will still be all around, I will fear no evil because I dwell in the house of the Lord. He walks with me and I with Him. "Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:12-22.

Amen.

back to the basics

What do you believe about God? How much control does God have over your life? How and why were you created? Who was Jesus, what did he do? What does that have to do with your life? What will you do from now on?

These, and more, are the questions I had the honor and privilege to explore with a girl named Ai last night. She has been living in Lawrence, Kansas for the past year, studying there. Once she got back, she met us through Kazu (the guy that started reading the Bible this summer and wants to be more like Jesus). Yesterday, she and Meg went to a Judo tournament and then toured around her hometown all day. I, of course, stayed home to rest my ankle and make dinner. After dinner, we watched a little bit of a DVD from her last hip hop dance performance. Near the end, she got a phone call and went into my room to talk on the phone. She saw my new bilingual Bible open to John 5 on my bed, and started reading. She ran back into the room holding my Bible, and asked if she could read it while we were watching the performance. Have you ever had one of those experiences when you're beaming but trying to play it cool? Yeah, that was last night!! At the end of the DVD, we spent the next 3 1/2 hours exploring her questions and religion and history and what we believe. Megumi and I went through general ideas of the Bible, the story of Job, some of the gospels, Paul's story, and some of the reasons we read the Bible. Megumi shared her story and why she believes in and reads the Bible. It was just SUCH an amazing time of growth and exploration. When Megumi had to leave (at midnight!) we stayed up and watched Step Up, and then hit the hay. This morning she left me a little note, saying she really enjoyed reading and talking about the Bible, and she wants to do it again a few more times before I leave. But, she would also like to continue to read with megumi, and maybe even email me questions and chat online sometime :)

God is good. Through thick and thin, God is faithful :D

week of love

Well, school's out, and the Koreans are coming!!! No, this isn't some sort of strange invasion. A lot of the Japanese staff here are actually from Korea, and tonight, their spiritual leaders from Korea are coming to visit for a few days. The past week and a half I've had a LOT of time to hang out with Naoko and Megumi, and even Mrs. Shin and just learn about how Navigators ministries are structured all over the world. I'm very interested in just learning how leadership, submission, even relationships look in different places. Apparently in Korea, it is VERY structured. The "spiritual leaders" as they call them, are the final say in any big decision. Lee, our 32 year old Korean friend studying Psychology at a grad school here, said he had to wait 4 years before his spiritual leaders would give him permission to go to Japan. He knows it was for the best, but he sure was frustrated for a long time. Mr. and Mrs. Shin and Jun and Hiroko had their relationships before marriage run by their spiritual leaders. When the men thought they were ready to get married, they talked to their male spiritual leader, who then talked to the women's spiritual leader, who then mentioned the name of a woman ready for marriage. The men pray about it, then the leaders tell the woman. The woman then prays about it, and they decide. Mr. and Mrs. Shin dated for a month, then got engaged, and a month and a half later, were married. Jun and Hiroko had 3 months between talking with their leaders and their marriage. And they've been very happily married ever since! I'm wondering what the differences are. Bigger sense that God is in control? Better obedience to leaders means better obedience to God and to their partner? It's just how they do? So, that's what I've been studying the past week. I wish I could go to Korea and see their Navigators. Koreans are very similar to Americans- very open and blunt about things, very open about their bodies (we learned this in the public bath. oh baby), and have a similar sense of humor. But, I've heard they are also very strict about studies, religion, etc. High-schoolers go to school at 7am, stay in the library studying until 10pm, come home and do homework until around 2am, sleep for a few hours, and wake up and do it again. Their weekends are spent at school studying for the big exam to enter college. Do you know ANY high-schooler in America that would attempt such a schedule, and could handle it for more than 2 months? Right.

But, all this time without students has me thinking. I've been growing closer and closer to Naoko and Megumi. With all the difficulties I've had with my American team, I really value these 2 ladies who have taken me in and consider me a sister. The other night, Naoko and I had "date night". We made kimchi (spicy Korean food) and watched "Dangerous Beauty 2" also known as "Miss Congeniality 2" :P Afterwards, we just sat and talked and laughed for hours upon hours. She loves to talk about my wedding, insisting that I get married next summer so she can come. We're trying to organize a trip to bring a few students to CO to tour the Navigators headquarters and do a homestay at my beautiful home in CO Springs. The staff would be able to talk to leaders from different Universities, as well as from headquarters. If any of you are interested in helping plan or fundraise for that, PLEASE let me know!!! But anyway, I'm just so thankful for them and their company. Naoko and I cook together usually at least once a day, and we teach each other about life and love and God. Sundays we do a quiet time together and share our thoughts about a verse in Proverbs. I'm just so thankful for these sisters that I've found, even if it took me traveling across the globe to find them.

Please continue to pray for relationships with the students, and their exams. Please also pray for all the Summer Impact Japan teams, as we have 2 1/2 weeks left and are getting slightly antsy to just return home. Please also pray for our friends and families, that they will greet us with open arms for the little time we will be home before heading off to Universities, and that we will be able to process this summer and the amazing work God has been doing in our hearts through this. Thank you so much for your support and constant encouragement. I really can't thank you enough for what this summer has done/is doing in my life.

No pain, no gain.

I'm sure we've all heard this expression before. It means we must experience some pain before we can win anything-- usually with sports, that hurting just makes you stronger and more likely to win a game. But what about in life? I used to think emotions, like pain, were bad. Crying showed you were weak; anxiety showed you were irresponsible. I read somewhere a few years ago, though, that pain is a signal to the body that something is wrong. Emotions, like pain, are a sign to the mind that something is wrong. It is when we ignore or repress these emotions or feelings of pain, however, that we get burned-- literally or figuratively! Sometimes, I do admit, we women are crazy and will feel sad for no apparent reason... but is it really for NO reason? I personally think women are crazy, but not for the reason you think. I think we women are crazy because it is hard to accept that someone loves us unconditionally, passionately, wants to be with us always, loves us no matter what, wants what is best for us, and encourages us to be better but loves us exactly as we are. It is hard to accept that God is like that, not men. Over and over this trip I've learned just how much I try to avoid thinking about these things. When I feel anxious or even bored, I will watch a movie, listen to music, read, or even try to find someone to talk to, JUST so that I don't have to listen to what is going on in my head. I think it is really common for us to feel that way, that if we sit still and start to think about our problems, that would be just like opening a can of worms, worms that might possibly kill us. I believe that God is all-powerful, all-good, all-knowing, and all-around wonderful, but why do I have a hard time trusting that it would benefit me the most to face my giants? Well, I've decided to face them. If I want to move on with my life and start a family someday (don't worry dad, still not that soon), I need to face my issues and work through them, fighting with God if I have to. "Faith without actions is dead". I believe that God is in control, so I must act like God will take care of me. That means not being afraid of thinking about my past and the inner workings of my brain.

Speaking of God's sovereignty... tonight really blew me away. My ankle got a lot worse after last night (the baseball game, see previous post), and I really started to wonder why I'm still here for the next 3 weeks. Should I just go home? I can pray from anywhere. God is showing me, over and over again, that my "spiritual gifts" or just talents in general are ONLY a gift from God, and should be used in EVERYTHING to serve God. For example, when I first hurt my ankle, it freed me to write the Bible discussions. They were really, really effective and started a new way of thinking for BEST club. The next week, I started praying for Meg and Naoko when they would go eat lunch or have coffee with girls. As soon as I got over myself and my "gift" of drawing people out of their shells, the girls started talking about their lives, opening up, and asking questions about M/N's lives and their beliefs about spiritual things. So I thought I had the "gift" of prayer, so I would pray almost continually, about everything. I would pray that we wouldn't burn dinner, that no one would get in a bike accident, that test results would come out okay, that the kids playing outside would grow up to love their parents. And the list goes on and on! Well, ew made a disaster out of dinner, Rob got sick, there was another bike accident, and my ankle got worse. Tonight, Ai was coming over to hang out before BEST club. Megumi and I got together to talk about what we wanted to talk about, what to share, etc. I wanted to focus on just getting to know her, before we intentionally start talking about the Bible. Talk about not acting in belief of God's sovereignty! As soon as everyone else left, and Megumi went to get a car to give me a ride, Ai brought up the Bible and started asking questions about my life and my religion and my beliefs (I should really post that on here sometime, it's interesting, I think. Maybe not what you'd expect). I showed up to BEST club expecting to just teach the game, English, and then ask questions about the Bible discussion but mostly pray for the conversation. Talk about not trusting God's sovereignty! Tonight each section led to Jesus. By the end of it, the student was wanting to know about Jesus, what it means to have eternal life, and what the Bible says it would take to get that. Talk about exciting!! It was like something came over me, I don't know where the words came from, but apparently it was exactly what the student needed to hear. At the end of the discussion, I asked what his last thoughts were about this semester. He said Jesus is very wonderous, and it's no wonder so many people choose to follow him even today. He said he wants to be like Jesus. Well, Kazu, I want to be like Jesus too.

School's out for the summer

Well, for us anyway. We had our last day of classes yesterday. Starting next week, for the next 3 weeks, the students have exams. Most have between 8-13 classes, so basically we have no clue how much we'll be able to see them. I'm praying that we will have more of an opportunity to serve the Japanese staff here, as well as people we know in the community. They're having a big farewell party for us on August 2 (Meg's 22nd bday), then Rob flies out on the 5th, and we head to Tokyo the 7th. We'll spend the night with the rest of the SIJ'ers from other cities, and head to the airport on August 8. Time is such a weird creature. Sometimes it's slower than molasses, but it all catches up to you in the end.

Speaking of time and things catching up to you... Mr. Shin got test results back and praise the Lord, it isn't cancer! I'm not sure if I completely understand due to bad translation of medical terms, but something about there's a hole in his lung, and an infection. He needs to stay in the hospital another 2 weeks (so 4 weeks total) and it will take another month to heal. We know he is saved and would go to a better place, so we're not worried if something happens to him, but more so what his wife is going through. It's tough with bad things happen, but at least in this case we can possibly see why. Sometimes it takes something like this to teach us to just slow down and focus on God.

And that's exactly what I'm learning. Yesterday after class, we met our friends and went to a Fukuoka Hawks (baseball) game. It was so cool! They stand up and use these things that look like bats to do all sorts of cheers and claps and such. About a quarter of the stadium is people in these robe uniforms that look like a part of a cheer squad, playing trumpets and drums and leading cheers and such. It was so exciting! Unfortunately, by the 8th inning I had to call for a ride home because my ankle was throbbing and swelled up pretty badly, the score was 5-3 the Hawks losing. Apparently, there was much excitement after we left and the Hawks won! So fun :D Anyway, with my ankle hurting as much as it still does, I don't think it would be the best idea for me to go to Nagasaki this weekend with everyone :( So, we're trying to figure out what to do with me. I could probably stay with the Shins (Mrs and the 2 kids), or stay in my apartment by myself. There's a girl visiting from Korea that can't go because she can't afford it, so if she still doesn't go then maybe I'll stay with her. Either way, please continue to pray for all these things, and encouragement for everyone. I know we're getting pretty tired, and have no clue what these next 3 weeks will bring.

Come to me all who are weary..

Well, it's about time. Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest". It's no wonder we're all so tired. It's amazing that when I'm feeling saddened, depressed, restless, and tired, I will do anything and everything but go to God. I might watch a movie, look to talk to a friend, go on a walk, try to take a nap, or anything other than just spend some time with God. I might pray that He will take this away from me, repeating promises and reminding Him of scripture. Could I be any more dense?

Anyway, my heart has been way burdened lately. Saturday, I wasn't able to go on the beach trip with everyone because of my ankle, so I spent the day with my newest best friend, Mrs. Shin. We ended up going to this really cool outlet mall on a pier, and getting wedding presents for Hiromi (the lady who got married a few weeks back). She is just so encouraging and so wonderful to be around! Hiroko, Jun's wife, (she's cute as a button!) also went with us, and she's so fun. She's very nervous about speaking English, even though she does it quite well. She has driven me around sometimes and I guess she even practiced some English with Naoko just so she could speak to me. I guess I make a big deal out of saying thank you, because she had Naoko practice saying "it's my pleasure, really", but instead, she said "you're my treasure". How cute is that?! But, that afternoon we went to the hospital to visit Mr.Shin. Supposedly we will get his test results today, to find out if it is lung cancer or something else. We're praying for just pneumonia, and a temporary bacterial infection. Needless to say, the Shins are one of the most moving families I have ever met, and the most hardworking! The couple is very much in love, and SO devoted to God and each other! Their daughter, Nachung, is studying to enter University, and she chooses to study at her father's bedside because it is so quiet. They took the afternoon to visit, so it was 3 of the Shins and me. We're all injured-my ankle, Nachun's thumb, Mrs. Shin's shoulder, and Mr. Shin. It was fun! We were all trying to take our mind off things, so I started asking about their family's dynamics, a lot of what Nachung thought, and then Mr. Shin brought up marriage and Michael and all sorts of other good stuff. Needless to say, it ended it in a very long story about how they met and got engaged and married and everything. Dating, engaged, and married in a total of 3 1/2 months. Talk about devotion to God though, tomorrow is their 24th anniversary, and they've never had a real honeymoon. Their wedding night, they went to a Navigators conference with 700 other people, slept in rooms with 50 other people, gender-gender (so separate rooms in separate buildings) for the next 3 days. One day later, they moved to Japan from Korea. They haven't stopped ever since.

After all this commotion and long days of feeling tired, neglected, alienated, and lashed-out at, I was ready to go home. Yesterday I even told a few friends I was ready to go home, and my heart was very heavy. Today, I finally got some good alone-time to read the Bible, and, as usual, was very much encouraged! That's one great thing about the Bible, it never stops speaking directly to where you are in life, if you just open your heart and open the book. So, some encouragement to pass on, or just to remind myself later :)

My prayer and thoughts for this update: 2 Corinthians 1:7-11"And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. 8We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many."

Reminder, guilt into action, encouragement to continue: 2 Corinithians 9:6-7 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. 7Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

My mantra anytime I'm feeling empty or anxious: 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Galatians 6:8-9 "The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

have a little faith in me

Apparently that's not just a song, but what God is continually telling me. And by continually, I mean just about every second nowadays. Today was just another day of bad news right after the other. There are some people back home in rehab for some nasty diseases of the mind, some that were even praying for me on this trip and I didn't know what they were going through. I'm a terrible friend. Another friend's grandpa was found crushed by his tractor and is now hospitalized, although nothing is broken, miraculously enough. I couldn't walk to school, but thankfully my new best friend, Mrs.Shin, was gracious enough (and available) to drive me both ways. On the way back, she told me that her husband (the leader of the fellowship here, president of his company, and father of 2 highschoolers) had been hospitalized that morning for pneumonia, and probably wouldn't be out for at least a few days. We later found out they had to transfer him to another hospital because the infection was so progressed, and he won't be out until Monday (today is Wed). One of my teammates has come down with a pretty bad infection and shouldn't sweat for as long as he can (which means not going outside, because its 98 degrees outside). My Japanese roomie is having REALLY bad financial problems, and feels like she needs to pick up a 3rd part-time job, which would completely cut her out of the ministry (although she stays faithful to her calling to the ministry and refuses a 3rd job or full-time job because of that reason). There is pretty much continual bad news from people back home, about relationships and such, except for the 5 billion weddings this summer. Kidding, not 5 billion, maybe 15 so far. Really. It looks like once again the CO house will be looking for more roomies, so if you or someone you know is interested, please let me know :)

But God is faithful. I was looking over 1 Corinthians 10:13 again the other day, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted
beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it." I believe God is totally good, and works for the GOOD of those who love Him and who have been called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I do believe I'm working hard, and that I have been called here for God's plan. But according to Corinthians, God does let us be tempted. Some temptations are depression, sadness, lack of righteousness/Godliness, lack of hope, lack of love, lack of faith. I know God is faithful and will not tempt be beyond what I can bear, but it is getting difficult to bear. I guess that's why Jesus carried the cross for us, and continued to bear our burdens. Phillipians 4:6-7 says "Do not be anxious in anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So I'm good, I just tell God what I'm going through and I will have peace even though I do not understand...right? I don't think this "present"ing merely means telling God about it. I think it means presenting it as a sacrifice, giving it away. If I tell my dad about a speeding ticket, that doesn't make anyone feel better; but if I give the ticket to him and let him take care of it and have full confidence he will and won't hold it against me, I believe I am presenting him with my burden (no worries, Dad, that was just an example, still no tickets for me). How much greater is that what our Father in heaven wants!

Then I get a great message from my lovely and amazing mentor and discipler, Suz the Vukovich, amazing Godly woman who works for Eagle Lake Camp year-round. She, as usually, told me exactly what I needed to hear (she's great like that). She sent me Psalm 90, which isn't so happy-go-lucky but very honest and exactly what I needed.. some snippets include "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. 2 Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. 3 You turn men back to dust, saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men. For a thousand years in your sight are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. 5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death; they are like the new grass of the morning-6 though in the morning it springs up new, by evening it is dry and withered. 8 You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. 9 All our days pass away under your wrath; we finish our years with a moan. 12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. 14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. 15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble. 16 May your deeds be shown to your servants, your splendor to their children. 17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands.

Please continue to pray with me all these things.

this is why i'm hot

I'm hot because it was 90 degrees (farenheit) today, and I was inside the apartment, with the stove going for a bit. Yikes! Anyway, I love Japan.

Tonight was SOOOO amazing! I guess this hurt ankle is definitely not for not. Wakarimashka (make sense?)? This week, I was in charge of preparing the Bible discussion part of the BEST club meeting. Apparently, it was a good thing. It seems as though a lot of students in Japan have never heard of the Bible, much less read it. Instead of reading the Bible, I thought it would be good for students to have some background about it, and know who Jesus was. I made a short powerpoint about where Jesus was born, what he did, where he traveled, how he died, etc. Then, we split into groups and Meg and I each led discussions about things Jesus did. It was absolutely amazing!! We read about Jesus calming the storm (not walking on water), Jesus feeding the 5000, and healing the sick. Last week one of the students, Kazu, came up and asked how to read the Bible, like what I do. So, this week, I sort of walked through what I do when I read stories from the Bible. I envision them, thinking about it like a movie, setting the scene, etc. Then, I ask questions. I am definitely a psychologist, so I ask a lot of "why did this person do that? Why would they think that? How can they change that?" questions. I am also my father's daughter, so I play the devil's advocate and like to argue with myself about the verses. It was absolutely amazing! By the end of it, Kazu, Shin, and Fumiya (the 3 students in my group) were all asking questions and learning to read the Bible on their own. They even took 2 passages to read this week and want to talk about next week! :D Apparently it took a sprained ankle and lots of bedrest to make me realize how much power I have by just preparing and praying. The prayer especially paid off, I believe, because Meg said she had the same group as last time and they were almost silent the whole time, but this week she only spoke twice, and the rest of the time the students were talking non-stop! At one point they were even comparing Buddhism to Christianity, and two students were even pointing to particular verses that helped them realize they wanted to follow Jesus instead of anything else. How powerful is that?!?! Man, God is so good :) Even Mrs.Shin (I've decided she's my favorite right now) decided to come to tonight, first so she could give me a ride, second so she could check out my talk tonight. In her words, "usually I teach, children listen. Tonight, you teach, me student". She's been having MAJOR issues with her achy shoulder, and tonight she was reminded to have faith, from the storm story. She has been involved in ministry for over 25 years, and she still was reminded by a simple story of a miracle and Jesus's power. Wow.

Just a thought, if anyone wants to explore the Bible and what it says, what it means, who Jesus was, or why people followed and still follow him, please let me know :) I would love to look into that with you when I'm back in the States :) One of the great things about the Bible is that you don't need anyone to tell you what it means, what you should read, or what to think. If you pick it up and start reading for yourself, you might just be changed. You might even get happy. You might even find something bigger than you could have imagined....

be our guest.

Well, I was able to get an x-ray yesterday, and it's not broken!! Praise the Lord! But, he did say it might take another 2-3 weeks for the pain to subside IF I stay off of it. I'm trying to find my new stay-at-home niche, so I thought a great way to use my gifts would be to cook! Yesterday we had 9 friends over for dinner, and they wanted to sample American food. I sat down and cooked banana bread, cheesecake, sloppy Joe's, and Meg made salad and fruit salad. Mmmmm SO GOOD! But, at the end of the night, my ankle was extremely puffy and painful :/ Needless to say, I'm still working on merely being content in being God's child, and that His grace is sufficient.

But, all of this has got me started thinking... this summer during orientation, we talked a lot about John 12:24-27 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. 27"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." This summer especially, we are aiming to be that dying seed.

Over the past year, I have been questioning what it REALLY means to serve someone. I have read the books about love languages, and mine is without a doubt "Acts of Service". This is why I love cooking for people, giving things to people, helping people move, and basically just helping with their everyday needs. Especially over the past year, I have struggled to figure out how that fits into society, and people in general. Most people really enjoy it when someone helps them out, but it is also an issue for some. For example, some guys felt like they should have to ask for help before it be given to them. I had a pride issue in that, because no other love language or acts of love must be given permission. You wouldn't ask someone, "Hey, would you mind if I called you beautiful real quick?" You wouldn't necessarily ask, "Would you mind if I got you a gift from where I'm going?". My second biggest love language is quality time, yet another thing that requires mutual consent. You can't have good time with someone unless they eagerly want to spend time with you also. This works well for those with whom I'm close, but what about those people that I don't know well yet? What about those people with whom I need to make amends? What about strangers? Using my gifts, how in the world can I serve those people? This are just a few of the questions I've struggled with over the past year, and what I've reasoned is one of my biggest problems in keeping in touch with people, and making amends with those whom I've hurt. I think that's one of the biggest reasons I get along with the Japanese so well, because they are SO focused on serving other people through actions-- the source of some HUGE miscommunications between the American team and our Japanese team. My Japanese roomie get along really, really, REALLY well. It has been a HUGE source of encouragement since being here, especially with all the roomie junk I experienced in CO. Before thinking about this, I was even starting to think about selling the house, again, or moving back to CA after December. I'm not sure where God wants me, and that frustrates me.

But back to service. So really, what is service. If you're serving someone, it's like loving them hardcore. John 15:13 says, " Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". So if love is laying down our life for our friends, what, exactly, does that look like? There was a short incident yesterday; we're all getting tired and frustrated, and the miscommunications just keep coming. Anyway, yesterday a friend finally said, "I keep my room spotless, I do the dishes, I keep my laundry clean, I pick up after everyone, I'm serving her like I've never served anyone before!". Something along those lines, about serving the Japanese. That really made me think. I don't keep my room SPOTLESS like they do, I don't do my laundry every week (I also brought more clothes..yikes). I'm terrible about doing my dishes RIGHT after I eat. I cook for them a lot but don't really clean for them. What's the difference? The heart. Jesus said in Matthew, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second [commandment] is like it-- love your neighbor as yourself". But if we are treating our neighbor as we want to be treated, is that really serving them/sacrificing for them? If I want to eat less, so I help my roomie eat less, is that really helpful if she is starving? If I want the house to be cleaner, so I clean up for my roomie, does that help her if she just wants someone to listen? I would like to propose that it's more than that, its a heart attitude, looking out for the interest of those, what's best for those we love, instead of just what they say they want, or the things they do. The Japanese seem VERY stressed, but they also would not tell you something they need-- it's all about actions. But when we act, they read more into it than we even know we mean by it. Ouch. Maybe we Americans need some communication training in the art of serving others. Or maybe interpersonal communication?

If you have thoughts about service, communication, helpful advice for the ankle/roomies/life/love, please comment or respond :) Thanks for listening!

Howdy partner, I've got a snake in my boots...

Well, for some reason, the boys like to teach Japanese people to say that. It's strange. Annnyway, this has been an EXTREMELY exciting week/end!!! Thursday night was BEST Club. It was the first week Meg could sit through it, praise the Lord for healing her stomach, just in time! E very week we have "Bible discussion, English practice"and this weekend we did "Sports, Travel" (BEST, get it?). During the Bible discussion time, Jun wanted me to share my testimony. For the second week in a row, he forgot. This week, we started talking about struggles we go through and what we turn to during those times. My story fit in perfectly, so I finally got to share it! As many of you know, I'm a bit of an independent girl; I have to question things and come to my own conclusions. If someone tells me something, I have to research it for myself. All throughout my life, I would do things to be good or right. My group of friends was the good kids, I didn't really date boys because it always caused trouble, my biggest rebellion was moving to CO for school just to prove I could do just fine away from my family. My freshman year at college, I had a lot of questions I had never really thought about before. I always thought I would grow up and be a physical therapist, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. But my freshman year, I started doubting if that was the plan-- if that was it. My Bible study leader, Joy Teten (now Maschhoff), showed me how to live for Christ, and how you will be rewarded if you do. Later that year, I learned how to read the Bible for myself, and that started my personal relationship with God. I learned how to look in the Bible for the answers-- how to find TRUTH, facts that are absolutely, unconditionally true, especially when everyone else is giving mixed advice, selfish advice, or just stuff that isn't for me. Now I can know test and approve God's perfect will for my life; I can find the answers to my many questions, answers that will be true long after I'm gone. Pretty cool, aye? Kazu, one of the guys we met through our friend Ami, started coming to BEST Club last week and heard about the Bible for the first time. He says he still doesn't really know what it is, but the few things we've talked to him about seem true to him. After sharing my testimony, he asked if he could take the same class I took to learn that stuff. How exciting!! I had to tell him that it wasn't a class, but that I know of a few guys who would love to start checking out what the Bible says with him.

On another note... this weekend we headed off to Saga Prefecture (about 2 hrs by car) for BEST Camp. We stayed at a beautiful little center on the coast. We had a REALLY cool bbq, Japanese style (pictures to come), great many hours of different sports in their gym, and great discussions about the Bible and life and other things. Before the trip, Naoko had me help her translate "You are Special" by Max Lucado. It's a children's book, but I highly recommend it for any young person especially. That brought on some great discussion time, and we even had some one-on-one time to talk with a Japanese person. I got to talk with Shin-Young; I'm actually staying in her old room this summer (she moved out 3 days after I got here, and all her stuff is still in here), and she's crazy. I love it. She likes to pick fights and tease even though we can't understand each other. The first day when I was leaving the apartment for school, she said, "Nakanie-de", which means "don't cry". Since then we've been best buds ;) Anyway, it's so cool to see God using me. She doesn't really talk about Christ or her childhood or life to anyone here because she does a lot of things that are not accepted by CHristians (smoking, drinking, dancing, etc). It was really cool that even though Naoko, our very conservative roomie, was translating, she still opened up a ton and shared quite a bit during the "one-to-one" discussion time. By the end of the weekend, we had great fun, great bonding time, and great laughs. I made it through the whole weekend being able to run up and down the courts, jump and play games, which is quite a feat to those of you who know about my bad knees. About 45 minutes before we were supposed to be leaving, we were playing soccer and I went up against Meg, we landed, and I fell. I did something to it, and am writing this now from my bed with it propped up. Our nurse friend Megumi looked at it and put a magical cool patch on it. I guess we'll check the swelling tomorrow evening to see what to do. Praise the Lord for keeping my knees safe though! Haha don't worry, family and Michael and everyone else, God is sovereign and I'm still alive :) Really. Anyway, I'll probably wait a few days to post again because the last few have been so long. Until then, Ja Ne!

when the cat's away...

Haha I apologize for my blog post last night... I was just so excited about everything I've been doing lately! Oh, and Michael has been out of contact for about a week, that could be it too. Sometimes you just need someone (or something, apparently) to vent to. Please don't feel like you need to read all of it, or even most of it.

Krista, I don't know how you do it all alone, seriously. I have a team and I still feel like I need someone else to talk to sometimes. Praying for you in your last few WEEKS!!!

love and marriage, they go together like a horse and carriage...

No, I'm not singing about a raunchy TV show. This weekend we got the chance to go to a real Japanese WEDDING!!! (quick side note-- if anyone knows anything about html and would like to tell me how to add spaces between paragraphs, or how to add images NOT at the top of my post, please enlighten me) Hiromi is a woman who became a Christian in Indonesia and then started coming to the fellowship when she got back to Japan. Her long-time boyfriend, Go, is not a Christian but does not oppose her faith. About 3 weeks ago they decided they wanted to get married finally! So, we found out about it and they wanted us to sing in their wedding. We thought that quite a bit inappropriate considering we did NOT have the right attire and 2 of us are too big to wear Japanese clothes. Anyway, we ended up finding stuff to wear but didn't sing in the wedding. I, however, did make new friends with 2 four-year-olds and an eight year old. The wedding was very small, but beautiful. The reception was really fun, at a cool Italian restaurant (think small Olive Garden knock-off). But, when the bride and groom came down the stairs once we all got seated, she had an entirely new hair/makeup look, as well as dressed in a GORGEOUS flowing, purple and green gown, complete with purple bow gloves. He was dressed in a zoot suit with his own set of gloves. All throughout dinner I would play tickle with the little kids, and they would go off screaming. Kids are different here... I know when I think of Asians, I think of very studious, very disciplined, quiet kids. But kids under the age of 5 are a COMPLETELY different story!! They're nuts. They hit and yell and seem to do anything they'd like. Usually the parents just talk quietly to them sometimes, but usually just keep the kid away from their face. Pretty cool, I think. I sometimes wish Americans could let kids be kids more often, even if that means putting up with screaming or noise for a bit :)

On Saturday, the day BEFORE the wedding, our friend Ami took us to a mall about 10 mins away on bus, where I got to look in the "Plus-size" store for a sweater or something dressy to wear to the wedding. I know I'm bigger, but I've never had to shop at a plus-size store. That was kinda fun to go to their mall. We were especially impressed by their socks and female undergarments, surprisingly enough.

Monday we went back to Kyushu University to do more "evangelizing". Megumi and I had spiritual surveys for students to fill out, and I made friends with one dental hygene student named Rieko who speaks English VERY well! KyushuU is a more prestigious University, so the students there seem to speak English better. Some anyway. But she had been to New Zealand, so she had a really pretty accent when she spoke. I'm going to try and hang out with her again next monday; she said she doesn't study ever, and said she's really excited to get to know me and insisted we get food together next time. It's pretty exciting to see the Lord working and making students available to me. Meg and Naoko met a girl that they talked with for a few hours, so that's great to see as well :) It was good to break up so Meg could somewhat find her "nitch" in the ministry here as well. We've both been kind of frustrated.

Tuesday was our day off, so what did I do? I went to the salon! Naoko's sister is a hairstylist that we met a few weeks ago. I got the opportunity to go to the salon with her, and I got to sit right next to her and watch every minute. It was awesome! Salons here work differently, in that most only have the owner, maybe one or 2 hairstylists, and maybe an assistant or 2. In the US, for those of you who don't get out much, each hairstylist rents their own chair and then they share the wash stations, so there is usually 6-10 hairstylists per salon, and they don't directly work "for" the owner, or anyone but themselves. During the cut, I sat right next to Naoko's sister. She said she was nervous that I was watching, but that it was okay. Within the next 5 minutes, there were 5 of us sitting watching the cut, because they were interested that a Gai-jin (foreigner) was so interested. We talked about salons and cosmetology school, and other random things. There were cute little shops "traditional Japanese street style" around the salon, and REALLY cute clothes for cheap (don't worry mom and Michael, I didn't get any, even though they fit). Naoko knew of a great food place on our way back to our apartment, but on our way it started to rain. When we got to the place, it was closed. It wouldn't open for another 45 minutes, so we walked down the street and sat in a bakery shop. Talk about awkward. But anyway, we made it in and the ladies that worked there were SO sweet! The place is owned by a woman and her 2 daughters, who also work there. The older daughter went to a language school in, get this, Irvine Valley College, in Irvine, CA (right next to my church, less than 4 minutes from my house). She went to OCC for another 4 years, and is now back in Japan to work for her mom. Talk about small world. The mother decided she didn't want to serve us bar food, but she wanted to make us food that normally someone would eat in a Japanese home. She brought out things that tasted like crab cakes, salads, cabbage marinated in something, and THE most tasty treats ever! I forget what they're called, but it's like cheesy potatoes in an egg roll. Oh my word, heaven in a wonton. After a few more rounds of foods, we were quite full. They gave us their card, and we headed home.

Today, we had our 2 English classes and the English conversation cafe. Our second class was especially fun because some of us were in short skits that the students had made (and we edited). They watch Seinfeld in each class, and they had to make a skit based off a theme they saw. In one episode, I guess someone lies about being a marine biologist to impress a girl, and gets caught. So, all the skits had something to do with lying. One of my groups was a baseball team, the pitcher hurt his knee and they needed to find a back-up. Someone knew someone who said he was the best, but he really couldn't pitch at all. The other group had a kid who was no good at basketball, and would even score baskets for the wrong team. He transferred schools and told everyone he was the best. There was a game against their rivals (his old school), and he played and scored a basket for his old team. I was the student who called the kid "terrible" in the skit, so that was fun :P They were pretty funny though. I even got them to use sarcasm and say "good luck with that" and "my bad". After almost DYING in a bike accident on the way back to campus, I met up with Bunsho, Misato, some of their friends, and Rob and Kyle, and we went to Misato's apartment for dinner. Bunsho works at Pizza-la (where Rob and Kyle met him) and made us a pizza. His boss made it, and he told us it was new and spicy, so I decided to try it. BAD CALL!!! I ate half the slice before I realized my tongue was going to fall off. We made everyone try it, and apparently I got the only spicy slice, and they did that on purpose. Thanks, guys! I've eaten a lot of spicy food in my life, but this was seriously the worst ever. She made Tacoyaki, which is this amazing cooker thing. It looks like round muffin tins on a burner, you pour pancake batter in and put stuff on top, then rotate the cups and you make things that look like cream puffs. You're supposed to put cabbage and octopus in it, but by the end of the night I had them putting Reese's pieces in it for dessert ;) yum! Then we sampled Japanese desserts, something that's "healthy for you" that tastes like poop, and "chocochip cookies". It was great company, great food, and great fun. I invited them to our apartment for American food next Wednesday, so hopefully I'll find the time to prepare well for that.
Please pray for the women that we've been meeting with, and for Aiko and ChiHiro the rest of this week. Please also pray for BEST club summer camp this week. Please pray for healing from my accident, as well as some other health problems this week. People-sickness (not necessarily homesickness) is setting in, so please pray for comfort for that. Please pray for Hiromi and Go's new marriage :D Love you all!

rain rain i love you!

Well, the rainy season is here in full force! I'm learning a lot, especially today. I learned that I only have one "good" pair of shoes to wear in the rain, and they just soak up the water within the first 5 minutes so at least I'm expecting it. I learned I'm no good with umbrellas; I kept dumping the water on me. I think I get bored with holding it. I also learned that my umbrella has a hole in it... oh well. Good thing I like the rain! I also learned that rain is amazing and makes things very beautiful. It must be why Japan is so green! It is also amazing because it cools everything down. 2 days ago it was SO hot that we just wanted to go hangout in the cafeteria because it was air-conditioned, and now I just want to go outside instead of being in our apartment! It's funny how things workout. Guess the grass is always greener, aye?

Yesterday Rob and Kyle (my American teammates from Kansas) were invited to go bowling with their friend from the pizza place, Bunsho. He wanted to bring his girlfriend, Misato, so we were invited as well. SO fun!!! Misato prefers to walk than ride bikes, so I had a walking friend :) We bowled 3 games and it was really fun! Bunsho's 2 friends came, and they were just a hoot. One was rather shy, and the other guy kept calling him "serious". I think the translation is derogatory, because he would crack up and point and laugh whenever he called him serious. Finally we got him to say he wasn't serious, just warming up and practicing. After the games, we went in this big booth thing for fun pictures! I forget what they called it, but it was sort of like a carnival picture booth- all 8 of us crammed in and would rotate places, making different faces, with different backgrounds for each picture. Afterwards, you could draw and write on the pictures before they printed them. I'll have to show you once I get back to the States :) Then, we all went to an AMAZING Japanese bbq place! It was traditional-style seating (which means we 3 long-legged creatures were changing positions every 2 minutes). There were little grills in the middle of each table, and they would bring out places of raw chicken and pork, and you cook it yourself. You dip it in sauce before you eat it... oh my word, it was SO good! The 4 of them usually work part-time jobs on the weekends and Bunsho and his lady work Thursday nights, but hopefully we'll get to see more of them. Misato emailed me this morning inviting me to her apartment, so that's really exciting! I'm hoping she can find some time for me, but she is very busy, going to school full-time AND working 2 part-time jobs. That's how they do here in Japan. They're either crazy or just REALLY hardworking! Maybe both.
Anyway, did I mention that I rode a bike last week? Yeah, once. For those of you who don't know, I don't actually know how to ride a bicycle... I was a broken child who turned into a pre-teen with bad knees, then a teenagers post-knee surgery. I rode once when I was in Japan in 2005, but that was out in the mountain countryside (and I almost died the death of a sign, but that's another story). It scares me to ride here because it is so crowded, it is busy, and I have seen 4 accidents now! No one gets hurt, miraculously enough, but still! Knowing me, I would be the one person to get hurt. Haha anyway, I feel kind of left out because I still haven't been to the guys' apartment, and I can't go anywhere quickly. The walks are nice because I can work on memorizing my verses (we're doing one a day from the TMS, yayy), but I know Meg is getting frustrated with me for not knowing. Please pray that we would have wisdom, that I would have safety and courage (and knowledge of how to ride a bike!) but especially balance-- something I seem to be severely lacking. BEST club tonight, and Kazu and ChiHiro (the girl pictured above) are coming. Please pray for the discussion and their hearts!

Watashi no namae wa Kristin desu....

Konnichiwa! Watashi no namae wa Kristin desu. Amelika no Kalifolunia ni alu arenzi gun de sodachi mashita. Kodomo no koro ryoshinga kyokaini kayotte imashita ga, kyokaini kayou kotono imiya riyuni tsuite wa hanashima sen deshita.... and thus began my testimony yesterday at Fellowship. When we first got here, they asked us if we could take turns sharing our stories at Sunday Fellowship. I decided it would be a nice gesture to try and speak it in Japanese! Naoko helped me translate it to romanji (so I could read it quickly). I got really nervous about halfway through reading it, but they all seemed very appreciative that I made the attempt. The morning before I spoke, Naoko worked with me on pronunciation; I decided American mouths just are not made to move that quickly, or make some of those sounds. But after I read it, at least 4 Japanese people told me they could understand it perfectly, because in Japanese the pronunciation doesn't matter as much as the pitch and movement. Go figure.
On Saturday, we had "Sports Day". About 16 of us went to a big park area and played frisbee, baseball, volleyball, and soccer. It was really fun, and a great way to get to know some of the Japanese people in a non-threatening environment. ChiHiro, a girl Naoko has been meeting with for a few months, decided she would like to come hang out with us again on Friday, come practice English Wednesday, and go to BEST club Thursday! She also wants to come to the summer camp in 2 weeks for the weekend. It is absolutely amazing to see the relationships forming and God working through us.
Aiko, another girl we've been meeting with, pictured above, invited us to her concert the beginning of July. Hopefully we will be able to hang out with her again, maybe even go shopping with her (her favorite thing to do with friends).

learning Engrish

Well, today we had our first English class! The teacher is from Canada, and is a Christian who works closely with the Fukuoka Navigators. The first class was English Conversations2. They watch a clip from The Truman Show, and then pair off to do interview-style questions to practice their English. The teacher integrated us into the class for the interview portion, and it was really fun! They were asking all sorts of questions about what we like to do, and we got to know a few students. The girls I met with seemed pretty excited to talk, and learn that we are very similar to them, our taste in music, food, and EC activities. After the first class, one of the girls Meg interviewed came and ate lunch with us!! Apparently over her winter break she went to Kansas to study at Washburn University, about 20 minutes away from where Kyle and Rob live. She seemed very excited to be able to hang out with us, and Naoko talked to her a little bit and we found out she was intrigued by Americans' enthusiasm for religion. The host family she stayed with went to church, and she was amazed that Americans would wake up early on their weekend just to go to church.
On our way to the second English class, we bumped into teachers from Germany and the UK, and the man from the UK just emailed me and he wants us to feel free to come help in his class Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays. We already have classes Wednesdays and Thursdays, so we'll see what happens with that.
The picture above is from our first night of BEST club, last week. They had a welcome party for us, with lots of games and fun get-to-know-you quizzes and such.
Last weekend, Mr.Shin and Jun took us to the beach (about an hour drive). We were really close to Korea, and it was beautiful!! The only bad part is that there were jellyfish about every 10 feet, washed up on the sand. There was an island about 100m away that Kyle and I swam to. There were primitive steps that lead somewhere, but we were a little anxious about exploring by ourselves and having to swim back if something happened.
The rainy season officially started today! It has been raining steadily since at least 5am, and looks like it might continue until around Sunday. We're expecting it to be like this until July though. I love the rain, so it's pretty beautiful, but please pray that somehow Meg would find a way to either run in the rain, or a place she can run and not ruin her shoes.
All in all, it has been an absolutely great week!
Matt leaves tomorrow morning, so please pray for his flights back to Kansas, and for the ministry there. Please continue to pray for our team's health, safety, and hearts. Please continue to pray for open minds and hearts for our team and Japanese staff and students. Please also pray for communication, and that we would be sensitive and uplifting to one another.

first day of action

Well, we've been in Tokyo since June 1 doing orientation. I met a bunch of REALLY cool people, and got to know quite a bit about my team (and myself!). Yesterday we took a bunch of trains to an airport, and flew to Fukuoka. Upon arrival, we went to the Shins house for some food and the opportunity to get to know some of the key BEST members. Best is for Bookdiscussion English Sports Travel, what we will be doing here at Fukuoka University.
Today, we had a great feast of a breakfast with our roomie, Naoko, and then set out for a busy, busy day! We walked around the neighborhood, visited the grocery store, and then headed for the University. We were supposed to help in a classroom with an English teacher from the Canada Navigators, but he wasn't expecting us until Tuesday. While we were hanging out in the hallway, we met a Japanese man who was an English teacher who went to school in Kansas. We ended up visiting his class, speaking in front for about 20 minutes. We told the class who we were and that we were there for the next 2 months and we would love to chat with them sometime if they have the chance. Within the hour, we got 2 emails just saying hello. We met a student Jun meets with, and then Meg, Naoko, and I went to do some "cold turkey evangelising" they like to call it. We don't talk about anything spiritual (and probably won't for a long, long time, if at all), so it's really just walking up to people and starting conversations. We met one girl who was wanting to be friends and practice English, and talked for her for at least 35 minutes before she had to go practice. The next girl we talked to was a Philosophy major and told us she was interested in discussing the Bible, even before we mentioned anything about it! When we were walking out, some girls were sitting outside and started saying, "Hello!" really loudly. It turns out that one of the girls was in the class we spoke in front of, and really wanted to speak to us in a smaller setting. She and her friends are in a break-dancing club. The whole time we were walking around, Naoko was nervous about the guards kicking us out because she said they know her. After we left the 3 girls, 2 guards went up to them and looked at the contact information Naoko had given them. At this point she was almost hysterical. The girls had told me ways to find them in the next few weeks, so I'm not worried about finding them or them being interested in talking to us. There are signs all around the entrance to the school telling students to watch out for people talking about religion, and to stay away from them. One of the guards even came to the BEST club party tonight and asked what it was about. We said English conversation, so they said that was okay.
Please pray that 1)we will be allowed on campus for the next 2 months, 2) we will be welcomed with open arms by the students, and 3) that Naoko will gain wisdom with how to handle the guards, and peace about continuing mission work at Fukuoka University.

I'm pretty beat, but tomorrow I will have a lot of down-time since Naoko is working until noon and I cannot ride a bike, yet.

I hope you all are having a great summer (or last few weeks of school). Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Thank you, again, for all your support and encouragement for this trip!

cuz i'm leaving on a jetplane...

but I DO know when I'll be back again...August 8!

We had a great bonfire tonight, and I got to see a few friends from kindergarten through senior year of high school! Thanks for coming, those of you who were able to make it :D Tomorrow I'll spend my last day with the CO men, and I'm very sad and nervous about leaving Michael for the summer. I know God will provide peace, assurance, understanding, and distractions though.

Well, I finally got my emergency address/phone # in Tokyo in case no one is there to pick us up (just kidding mom and dad....). Meg and I worked out our hair stuff we're bringing. I finally got a great pair of comfy/cute shoes to go with my skirts, and I think I'm finally all ready, set, ready to GO! Tomorrow I'll pack, and then starting at either 3 or 8am Saturday I'll be on my way to LAX and then Tokyo!

A HUGE thank you to the rest of you that have supported me!! I have reached my minimum fundraising target... yet another way God has provided in a HUGE way through you!! It really assures me that what I'm doing and where I'm going is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Isn't it fun how things work out like that?

Anyway, I'm off to bed. It's been a long week. Talk to you next from Tokyo, Japan!!

packin my bags

Well, I've started (and continued) getting everything together for Japan-- making copies of my passport/id's/itinerary, getting toiletries, making gifts for our hosts/friends there, cleaning my room, getting rid of school books, figuring out the last of roomie/tenant stuff here at the house in CO. Also, I've been putting together prayer postcards so people can put them on their fridge to keep me in their thoughts/prayers. If you haven't gotten anything in the mail from me about the trip, PLEASE let me know before Thursday so I can get you on my list ;)

Michael, my boyfriend, Bryson, his roomie, and I will be driving to CA Friday night, and will get a week of vacation before I head out to Japan. It's really exciting, but sometimes I just want to get there!

I found out a few days ago that our major way of transportation while in the city is by bicycle...as many of you know, I've only ridden a bike twice-- once, in Japan in 2005 for 2-3 hours, then once back home in CA. So, if you could please give any sort of help/advice/encouragement/prayer, that would help SO much!

Well, I should probably get back to packing. Thanks for reading!

First Blog

Well, it's official, I'm a blogger! I got this website to update friends, family, and friends of the family on my life. This summer, as most of you know, I will be in Fukuoka, Japan for 2 1/2 months. I will use this as my primary mode of communication with people, but feel free to email me at bbkris@pacbell.net as well.

Enjoy! :D