be our guest.

Well, I was able to get an x-ray yesterday, and it's not broken!! Praise the Lord! But, he did say it might take another 2-3 weeks for the pain to subside IF I stay off of it. I'm trying to find my new stay-at-home niche, so I thought a great way to use my gifts would be to cook! Yesterday we had 9 friends over for dinner, and they wanted to sample American food. I sat down and cooked banana bread, cheesecake, sloppy Joe's, and Meg made salad and fruit salad. Mmmmm SO GOOD! But, at the end of the night, my ankle was extremely puffy and painful :/ Needless to say, I'm still working on merely being content in being God's child, and that His grace is sufficient.

But, all of this has got me started thinking... this summer during orientation, we talked a lot about John 12:24-27 "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. 25The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. 27"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour." This summer especially, we are aiming to be that dying seed.

Over the past year, I have been questioning what it REALLY means to serve someone. I have read the books about love languages, and mine is without a doubt "Acts of Service". This is why I love cooking for people, giving things to people, helping people move, and basically just helping with their everyday needs. Especially over the past year, I have struggled to figure out how that fits into society, and people in general. Most people really enjoy it when someone helps them out, but it is also an issue for some. For example, some guys felt like they should have to ask for help before it be given to them. I had a pride issue in that, because no other love language or acts of love must be given permission. You wouldn't ask someone, "Hey, would you mind if I called you beautiful real quick?" You wouldn't necessarily ask, "Would you mind if I got you a gift from where I'm going?". My second biggest love language is quality time, yet another thing that requires mutual consent. You can't have good time with someone unless they eagerly want to spend time with you also. This works well for those with whom I'm close, but what about those people that I don't know well yet? What about those people with whom I need to make amends? What about strangers? Using my gifts, how in the world can I serve those people? This are just a few of the questions I've struggled with over the past year, and what I've reasoned is one of my biggest problems in keeping in touch with people, and making amends with those whom I've hurt. I think that's one of the biggest reasons I get along with the Japanese so well, because they are SO focused on serving other people through actions-- the source of some HUGE miscommunications between the American team and our Japanese team. My Japanese roomie get along really, really, REALLY well. It has been a HUGE source of encouragement since being here, especially with all the roomie junk I experienced in CO. Before thinking about this, I was even starting to think about selling the house, again, or moving back to CA after December. I'm not sure where God wants me, and that frustrates me.

But back to service. So really, what is service. If you're serving someone, it's like loving them hardcore. John 15:13 says, " Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". So if love is laying down our life for our friends, what, exactly, does that look like? There was a short incident yesterday; we're all getting tired and frustrated, and the miscommunications just keep coming. Anyway, yesterday a friend finally said, "I keep my room spotless, I do the dishes, I keep my laundry clean, I pick up after everyone, I'm serving her like I've never served anyone before!". Something along those lines, about serving the Japanese. That really made me think. I don't keep my room SPOTLESS like they do, I don't do my laundry every week (I also brought more clothes..yikes). I'm terrible about doing my dishes RIGHT after I eat. I cook for them a lot but don't really clean for them. What's the difference? The heart. Jesus said in Matthew, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second [commandment] is like it-- love your neighbor as yourself". But if we are treating our neighbor as we want to be treated, is that really serving them/sacrificing for them? If I want to eat less, so I help my roomie eat less, is that really helpful if she is starving? If I want the house to be cleaner, so I clean up for my roomie, does that help her if she just wants someone to listen? I would like to propose that it's more than that, its a heart attitude, looking out for the interest of those, what's best for those we love, instead of just what they say they want, or the things they do. The Japanese seem VERY stressed, but they also would not tell you something they need-- it's all about actions. But when we act, they read more into it than we even know we mean by it. Ouch. Maybe we Americans need some communication training in the art of serving others. Or maybe interpersonal communication?

If you have thoughts about service, communication, helpful advice for the ankle/roomies/life/love, please comment or respond :) Thanks for listening!