Mother's Day

Well, as you all know, Mother's Day was a week ago Sunday. My whole life I have celebrated my birthday close to this "holiday". You see, in the Hamman clan, we celebrate birthday clumped together, usually around March, July, and October, and then get together for other holidays such as Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Father's Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Since I've been away at college, the number of attendees is growing- 2 new cousins, 2 new spouses, in-laws, boyfriends, girlfriends, the works. So my birthday would get thrown in either with the March birthdays or the Mother's Day celebration. At Mother's Day, my dad would get my mom and grandmas bunches of flowers and we would go to church, and that was about it (until the big family celebration, of course). Well this year I wasn't home to get flowers or go to church, or go to the big family party. Michael did a great job of celebrating my birthday, buying traditional birthday muffins, a small gift, and a date out without the kiddo (among always celebrating birthdays for months at a time :P). Since he had gone out and done the yard on Saturday, come Sunday he was bedridden with a huge allergy attack. I made him breakfast in bed, took care of the little man who wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, and was all-around cranky, and had been since Wednesday (yayyyyy teething! :(

Have you ever experienced something in which you have expectations that you never even knew you had? A lot of women experience it when dating "the guy", or with the wedding. You start to realize he's the one, and then you realize he's not at all what you had expected, but you didn't realize you had a type in your head. Or you start planning the wedding, and you realize it isn't at all the kind of wedding you envisioned since you were a little girl. Expectations. Hidden expectations are the worst. For some reason I thought I would get breakfast in bed, some sentimental "mommy" gift like the ones I got when I was pregnant, and lots of alone time and affection with my guys. Instead, I was contantly making food for both of them (sarcastic yayyyy for homemade baby food and a sicky baby), cleaning up after them, and left to fend for myself for the day. We didn't even make it to church to get a flower!

And then I realized...this is what Motherhood is about. This is what Mother's Day is about. I don't get that gushy mushy feeling when I think about holding my baby. I don't think birth was the ultimate woman experience. I don't think breastfeeding is always always the best option. I don't think it makes you more of a woman to have had your kids "naturally". I love my husband, and I love my child. And because of the love I have for my husband, we have a child. Raising a kid is hard. And not just "oh you lose sleep, you'll never get your body back, its expensive". Those are true, but that's not it. True motherhood is losing yourself without losing yourself. Becoming a mother means that any time of day, you will give up your desires for what is best for the kid. Just like marriage- ideally marriage is getting up every day to serve your spouse over yourself. Not a lot of people see it that way, and sure, hopefully your husband won't wake you up in the middle of the night and scream until you get him some food. But what if he did?

So happy Mother's Day out there, all you women everywhere. May you sacrifice and love on your children every day of the year, and not have any expectations on getting anything in return. That, is true motherhood. That....is true love.